Special Reports

9 Broadway Shows That Could Benefit From the Boaty McBoatface Treatment

Make #BwayBoatyMcBoatface happen.

| Broadway |

March 21, 2016

We learned today that the U.K. National Environment Research Council is naming a new Royal Research Ship via online poll. Names put forward so far include the RRS Henry Worsley and the RRS Pillar of Autumn. But the name that's pulling ahead is — ready for it? — RRS Boaty McBoatface. The Internet really loves the name and the NERC is getting lots of publicity, which got us thinking: Are there any Broadway shows that could benefit from the #BoatyMcBoatface treatment? Of course there are!

Here are 9 of our suggestions. Use #BwayBoatyMcBoatface to submit your own recommendations.


1. Carrie: Bloody McBloodface

Marin Mazzie and Molly Ranson in MCC Theater's revival of Carrie in 2012 at the Lucille Lortel Theatre.
Marin Mazzie and Molly Ranson in MCC Theater's revival of Carrie in 2012 at the Lucille Lortel Theatre.
(© Joan Marcus)

The musical Carrie is a cult favorite, and fans might have a hard time letting go of Stephen King's original moniker. But when you only last for five performances, sometimes you have to be open to constructive criticism. Who wouldn't buy a ticket toBloody McBloodface on Broadway?


2. Rebecca: Becky McFireface

Ryan Silverman, Jill Paice, and Maree Johnson, lead performers from the ill-fated Broadway mounting of Rebecca.
Ryan Silverman, Jill Paice, and Maree Johnson, lead performers from the ill-fated Broadway mounting of Rebecca.
(© David Gordon)

Scandal has been keeping this show down. It's hard to bounce back from the fake death of a fake producer who has been fake-funding your show. A fresh name might be just the boost Rebecca needs to finally get to Broadway.


3. The Last Ship: Boaty McBoatface

Sting's 2014 Broadway musical The Last Ship.
Sting's 2014 Broadway musical The Last Ship.
(© Matthew Murphy)

Sting's nautical musical The Last Ship closed too soon on Broadway last season. Luckily the British populace has already come up with the perfect title to rebrand its future productions. If anybody would be "on board" it's the show's creator and Police frontman, Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner.


4. Hands on a Hardbody: Trucky McTruckface

The 2013 Broadway cast of Hands of a Hardbody.
The 2013 Broadway cast of Hands on a Hardbody.
(© Chad Batka)

This musical taught us that "if you love something, keep your hands on it." We're trying to do just that by renaming it Trucky McTruckface. Since the original title might have been a little misleading, a more Internet-friendly title could have done wonders for this musical's marketing campaign.


5. American Psycho: Murder McAxeface

Benjamin Walker as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, starting performances at the Schoenfeld Theatre March 24.
Benjamin Walker as Patrick Bateman in rehearsal for American Psycho, starting performances at the Schoenfeld Theatre March 24.
(© Allison Stock)

It's hard to open a new musical on Broadway, especially with all the other screen titles this show is up against. Duncan Sheik's new musical is being added to a Broadway roster that already includes School of Rock, Matilda, Kinky Boots, and more. It wouldn't hurt to have a killer new title to give the show a leg up.


6. Waitress: Pie-ey McPieface

Keala Settle, Jessie Mueller, and Kimiko Glenn in rehearsal for Waitress, starting previews at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre March 25.
Keala Settle, Jessie Mueller, and Kimiko Glenn in rehearsal for Waitress, starting previews at the Brooks Atkinson Theatre March 25.
(© David Gordon)

Sara Bareilles' Waitress is another new screen-to-stage project coming to Broadway this season. And when you've got pie as a main theme of your show, why bury the lead? That's why we're serving up this confection of a click-baity new title.


7. She Loves Me: Deary McFriendface

Zachary Levi and Laura Benanti in She Loves Me, now running at Studio 54.
Zachary Levi and Laura Benanti in She Loves Me, now running at Studio 54.
(© Joan Marcus)

She Loves Me is one of the lesser known musicals by Joe Masteroff and Sheldon Harnick. Clearly it's a popular story, with You've Got Mail and Shop Around the Corner originating from the same source material. We're giving the musical version the catchy title it's been waiting for.


8. Les Misérables: Empty McChairface

The original 2014 Broadway cast of Les Misérables at the Imperial Theatre.
The 2014 Broadway cast of Les Misérables at the Imperial Theatre.
(© Matthew Murphy)

Sure Les Misérables is doing fine with the title it's already got. But there's no time like the present for a 21st-century facelift. Or should we way a Boaty McBoatface-lift?


9. Sunday in the Park With George: Georgey McPaintface

A production photo from the 1985 production of Sunday in the Park With George.
A production photo from the 1985 production of Sunday in the Park With George.

We all know Stephen Sondheim is a genius. But has he ever really had a smash hit? And that's understandable considering that the pointillist paintings of Georges Seurat are kind of a niche subject for a commercial Broadway production. A pedestrian title like Georgey McPaintface is just what this intellectual musical needs to appeal to the unwashed masses.

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