BFFs for 41 Years, Joy Behar and Susie Essman Share the Stage in My First Ex-Husband

Back in the day, Joy Behar and Susie Essman became best friends working the comedy club circuit (you can see some of their earliest solo standup work in the 1988 HBO special Women of the Night II). As time went on and fame caught up to them — Behar’s from The View, Essman’s from Curb Your Enthusiasm — their bond continued; at this point in their lives, Behar says, they’ve been friends for 41 years.

For the first time in a long time — perhaps ever — they’re going to be on stage together. They star, alongside Tovah Feldshuh and Adrienne C. Moore, in Behar’s play My First Ex-Husband, a compendium of monologues at the Manhattan Movement and Arts Center beginning January 29 (they appear through February 23). They’re loving the chance to work opposite each other in this capacity, especially when they’re making each other laugh.

This conversation has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Joy, when did you start writing plays?
Joy Behar: I had this imposed hiatus — The View fired me at one point in 2013 – so I did a one-person show at the Cherry Lane Theatre. I had time, and I started thinking that it’s interesting why people split up. There’s always a reason; people just don’t get divorced for no reason. So, I started interviewing some of my girlfriends. They were very happy to give me their stories and told me everything. I taped them for hours, and then I transcribed it all myself, because I’m an idiot and I don’t know how to do it any other way. But because of that, I was able to mold them into monologues.

It seems like a subject where almost everyone has some story.
Susie Essman: Everybody has a story. Some are interesting and some are mundane. I think Joy found compelling stories to tell that are all very different. Everybody goes into a marriage wanting it to work, and it’s tough, so everybody’s going to relate in some way. I’ve never been divorced, but I’ve had many a breakup.

Joy: The first marriage is harder than the next one. My first marriage had trouble because we were like two unformed pieces of protoplasm, you know what I mean? By the time of the second one, I had been through analysis, I was actualized more, all that.

Susie: And there’s a poignancy to a lot of these. They’re funny, because Joy wrote them, but they’re also meaningful. People are going to be very touched. I think the problem for me, and probably for Joy, is that you’re used to a laugh every 15 seconds. This is different. This is slower. It’s not bang, bang, bang, laughter.

Joy: I have to tell you, though, when we first did it as a benefit, I couldn’t believe how funny they were. They killed. A lot of it has to do with the actors, too. Susie can’t help herself; she’s just funny. In the second cast, we have Judy Gold, and she’s going to be hilarious. Susan Lucci can be very funny, too. I saw her do Celebrity Autobiography. I said “Look at this! The soap actress is funny.”

Susie: And Gina Gershon, she was so great playing the Hasidic woman with us on Curb. We had fun with her. I think it’s a well-rounded evening of laughter, thoughtfulness, and relatability.

Joy: Women love it because they see themselves in it. When we did it the last time as a benefit, a lot of guys came. I asked them after the show, “Did you find this to be male-bashing?” And not one of them said yes. A lot of men also came to the Vagina Monologues when I did that. So, you know, there are men who are interested in our vaginas and our brains.

Joy, are you the kind of writer that expects your actors to every piece of punctuation?
Joy: No, no, no. As a writer, I’m always thinking “How can we make this funnier? How can we make this more interesting? How can I make it more cohesive? And how can I make it so the actors can perform it?”

Susie and I just went over her monologue, and she said, “I think you should do this and not that,” and I said “ok.” I’m not like that. You know what? I worked with Woody Allen and he doesn’t care if you change a line. Why should I care?

Susie: She’s no David Mamet, that’s all I can say.

Joy: In many ways. I’m dealing with professional writers myself. We write our own material. Judy writes her own material. Tovah wrote her own one-woman show, which was really good. Playwriting isn’t the written word. It’s the performed word. Things have to change as you’re performing it, because what looks good on a page isn’t necessarily what sounds good. With a play, it’s all very collaborative. I really like that about it.

Do you look at this production as an isolated chapter in both of your lives or is this the next step?
Susie: Joy has two other plays in the can.

Joy: And I have a few short ones that I’ve been meaning to send you, Susie. I want to see what you think. I like writing dialogue.

Susie: You know, for years we did stand-up, and that was an amazing, creative outlet, but neither of us do it any longer. The View is a wonderful outlet for Joy to give her opinions, but creatively, I think the playwriting has taken the place of the stand-up.

Joy: It’s much less stressful than stand-up. In stand-up, you’re on the stage naked and everybody else is dressed.

Susie: Exactly. That’s why I ended up going more towards acting. And we both suffered stage fright.

Joy: It was a lot of things. I always think of it like Baryshnikov. Every time he went out on stage, he didn’t know how high he was going to leap that night. And you have to leap high some nights. Susie did a gig on the Fourth of July where fireworks were going off.

Susie: Right behind me. I have a million stories like that. We needed other creative outlets. Joy’s is playwriting. Mine is acting, and other kinds of writing. One thing that’s so much fun about this is doing it together.

Joy: We’ve been friends for 41 years, nonstop. We’ve never not been friends in all those years. Susie is my muse.

Susie: I’m your Jewish muse.

Joy: This other play I have is a series of five short plays called Bonkers in the Boros. We did it last year at the New York Comedy Festival, and we’re doing it again in the fall. I’m praying that Susie can be in it because she’s hilarious and I can’t think of who else I can put in there. If you’re not going to do it, Susie, you’re going to have to find me somebody.

Susie: I’ll work on it.